On April 24 an Armadillo rampaged through the UTA campus causing destruction on an enormous scale.

      Students ran from buildings as glass and concrete crumbled down around them. Assistant Chief J. Ferguson of the UTAPD said, "We tend to take things like bomb threats very seriously, but when someone called warning of a raging beast we were taken off guard."

     Ferguson did not say why the call to evacuate the buildings was not made, he just said that there would be an ongoing investigation. The threat of students being trampled could have been a factor.

      Three buildings were damaged: the Central Library, University Hall, and Preston Hall. A liberal arts student who did not wish to be named remarked on the irony that the history and English departments appeared to be "targeted blatantly, which suggests that a disgruntled science student might be at the root of this evil plan," stated one librarian.

     What is even more peculiar is that no one was harmed in this astonishing event. It seems that the only people in the library were staff members. "This being dead week it is amazing that no students were in the library studying."

      The beast was finally apprehended by the mighty Mav mascot, aided by members of the covert OOO (Omega Omega Omega) fraternity. Little is known of this fraternity, and rumors abound of their wild parties and a peculiar yearly contest: the fraternity member with the lowest GPA, who is ALSO not expelled, arrested, or cut off financially by parents wins.

     Suprisingly this same fraternity actually aided the Mav mascot in the apprehension of the armadillo.

      University officials have decided to turn a blind eye to the way in which the monstrous animal was actually brought under control, as the possible illegality of the dillo tranquilizer could cause the heroic fraternity to be expelled en masse.