New four-wheel drive Jihad to resurrect Iraqi economy
          Mother of All Vehicles Set to Begin Production.

           Out of the Closet
          "I'm Here, I'm Queer, Does This Shell Make My Ass Look Fat?"

           Senator Attacked
          Much Deserved Bitch-Slapping Administered to United States Congressman

           Nocturnal Emissions Testing Deadline Extended
          Raised Hopes Shot

           Arby's Beef And Provolone Sandwich Sparks Mass Riots In Chicago
          CGI Oven Glove Missing; Feared Dead